Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize