the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize