i just google imaged poop.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
