Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I party with great urgency now.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
