girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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