Quick, to the slutcave!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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