he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
