So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
