margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize