Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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