At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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