The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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