I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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