his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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