I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
