Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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