I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
