What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize