So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
