i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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