i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
