What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
