It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Everything about him screamed your future.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
