you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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