dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
