You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize