i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
