I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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