Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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