Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize