you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
