dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
