I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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