Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
