she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
