spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
operation have a gay friend backfired
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Randomize
