Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
