I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
