Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
