Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
