Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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