Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
