Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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