Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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