atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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