O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
