??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
