just come out here and I will go home with you...
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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