your parents love me but you hate me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize