I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
