I just saw a hot homeless man
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
