P.S. I can't hear my feet
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
