My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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