A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
