Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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