I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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