all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize