Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
