He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dignity is for republicans.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
