Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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