I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
