Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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