Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
