Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
