I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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