i already hear my dad disowning me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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