You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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