somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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